New Parent Syndrome
Has your life changed since having the baby? Do you spend less time with your partner?
If this is the case, then you might have also been hit by the new parent syndrome. For those who think it's all just in their heads, it is a legit thing. Decreasing intimacy, less time for partners, and reduced or no couple time are all symptoms of new parent syndrome or first-time parent syndrome.
Becoming a parent for the first time comes as a challenge to the parents, especially those living separately from the family.
What Is New Parent Syndrome?
It is often noticed that the relationship of a couple gets affected after the baby comes. This is because after the baby is born, both the parents, especially the mother, remain occupied with the thought of the well-being and comfort of their baby, and this leads to less attention to anything else, including the partner. Also, as the baby comes, the responsibility increases and there is less alone time for couples. As a result, the couple gets less time to spend alone, intimacy decreases, and this reduction leads to the relationship becoming restrained on and off. This whole thing is usually referred to as "new parent syndrome." This is also known as first-time parent syndrome because it is mostly after the birth of the first child that couples face this problem.
It is not necessarily faced by every couple, but there are a lot of couples facing it.
What exactly happens?
Since this is not any disease or disorder that comes with specific symptoms, every couple might face this syndrome in their own personal way, which might be different from other couples. That is why there is now a specific symptom or rigid reason for this.
However, we've discussed some of the common reasons noticed in couples around the world facing this issue.
The mother can get more involved with the baby:
In many cases, the mother is more inclined towards the upbringing of the baby than the father. In such cases, the males feel unattended or ignored and might even get thoughts that their wife's love has now been divided. This might cause the withdrawal behaviour of men in relationships.
Lack of involvement as father and husband:
The other common reason is the wife's feeling that the husband is not devoting proper time to her and her family and starts grinding for the same. If the mother is a homemaker, she stays all day at home, does the chores, and handles the baby. Even if she works, the mother receives maternity leave for the first few months and stays at home to care for the baby.
In both these situations, the woman might feel that her husband is more preoccupied with work and she is the one taking all the responsibilities of the baby.
Also in the case of females, the first few months after postpartum are quite challenging in terms of continuous hormonal changes. They might get driven by their hormones, which lead to mood swings and anxiety. Many thoughts keep running across the mind, which might make them feel insecure. So, a mother needs to be pampered even after the birth of the baby.
Ego in relationship:
Another situation that is a bit unrealistic to listen to but has been noticed among many new parents is the ego-pandering relationship. In many cases, it is noticed that both the partners feel ignored and less loved, become distant and hesitate to initiate first. This also drifts them apart in a relationship.
These are some of the most common reasons for first-time parent syndrome. But as it is said, there is no problem that can't be solved. Let's now discuss some of the ways to avoid this.
Ways to avoid or overcome this syndrome
As we now understand what first-time parent syndrome is and what causes it, we should also understand that it can be avoided and overcome with a few simple practices. Before getting into it, you must know that the root cause, as can be seen in the above cases as well, is a communication gap. So, if you avoid communicating your concern to your partner or think of dealing with it alone, there is a greater chance of you or your partner developing this syndrome.
Now let's look at the things you can do to avoid this.
- Plan the baby: This is often noticed more in young couples who are usually not as mature as a couple and get pregnant at an early age. When you plan the baby, you consciously discuss a lot of things about the upbringing of the baby and changes in the relationship as a couple.
- Communicate more: Express to your partner how you feel or what thoughts you're having. It is not always possible for someone to understand your mood or feelings without expressing them. Communication is the key to both avoiding and overcoming this syndrome. If you tell your partner what you feel, there are greater chances of acknowledging it and the relationship stays healthy.
This is all you needed to know about new parents' syndrome. If you think you or your partner is developing it anyway, talk it out, and if the baby is yet to come, remember to include your partner in everything you feel.