In today's world where everyone has an opinion, and the opinions are strong-headed. People have enough courage to stand for themselves and the cases of separation have significantly increased all over the world. Today, people don't hesitate to step out of a marriage that is toxic, or in which they don't see themselves growing.
But what about their children?
The very fact that children are the ones who are hugely affected by the separation of parents cannot be denied. In many cases, it has been noticed that children slide into depression or start to face upset mental health due to this. They often get into the stress of losing any one of their parents or the dilemma of making a choice.
Since children are a priority for both parents, the concept of co-parenting has evolved with time.
What is co-parenting?
Co-parenting is the concept where both the father and mother are equally responsible for the upbringing of the child. The concept is more prominent when the parents are separated but have joint custody of children, by virtue of which they chose to bring up their children together for the betterment of children.
Even if they are not available for their partners, both father and mother are available for their children. Co-parenting is all about focusing on the healthy upbringing of the child.
Even though the concept sounds quite fancy and the best way to deal with the issue of divorce, the reality behind it is a lot bigger and also not as easy as it seems to be. Co-parenting very often becomes a challenge, which not everyone enjoys.
In many cases, the separation takes place on an ugly note, which makes it difficult for parents to adjust to the terms of co-parenting. In some other cases, both partners move on as individuals and start their lives with others. In such cases, co-parenting becomes a means of holding on to the things that are past.
Parents often find it difficult to juggle between their present lives and their kids' lives. Many parents use their children as a means of communicating with their ex-partners when they are unable to do so directly. This makes children even more pissed off. Therefore, co-parenting is indeed the best way to go but is difficult to get on.
Here are some dos and don'ts of healthy co-parenting that will make it good for your children and not worsen the conditions.
You can adopt the following habits to make parenting healthy and beneficial for children.
Prioritize your child
Co-parenting is a choice made by you for the betterment of your child. Therefore, make sure you make the baby your utmost priority during the process.
Establish a proper medium of communication with your ex-partner
No matter how things ended, it is very important to establish a proper medium of communication with your ex-partner to achieve success in the process of co-parenting. If there was no communication, things might overlap or be left undone, which would be a turn-off for your child.
Keep your boundaries rigid
It might be difficult to maintain any relationship with your ex if things ended on a bad note. In such a case, you can maintain only business relations with boundaries clearly stated. Never cross those boundaries and don't let your ex do the same.
Maintain your integrity and respect your ex-partner
If you and your ex-partner have decided to co-parent, you must leave the past behind. Start over again with integrity and respect for the benefit of your kids.
Make sure the rules for kids in both houses are similar. This would necessarily require planning and discussing them with the other co-parent. A child should never feel that going to another house is a way out of some of the restrictions in one house.
Now that you are aware of the factors that can make co-parenting a more pleasant experience, you must also be aware of the factors to avoid when practicing healthy co-parenting.
Do not expect your child to choose anyone's side
Expecting your child to take any parent's side is like putting them in the dilemma of choosing one parent. This would ultimately lead to the situation you tried to avoid by deciding upon co-parenting. This might affect them negatively.
Don't let your feelings for your ex-partner affect your relationship with children
It's okay to feel whatever you feel for your ex. But when you're with your kids, they should be your priority. Your feelings for your ex should have no bearing on your relationship with your child. If they notice any such thing, they might feel that their presence does not matter to you.
Don't try to influence their thoughts
You may or may not have fond memories of your ex-partner, but keep in mind that your ex-partner is your child's parent. They are equally important and loved as you are. Never try to impose your thoughts on your ex-partner.
Never curse or demean the other parent in front of the kids
Make everything about your children when you're with them. You and your partner may have opposing views and approaches to raising children. Even though the rules can be discussed, basic parenting ideas cannot be changed.
Don't use your child as a medium to degrade your ex-partner
You should make sure you don't make your child the mediator between two and a medium to demean your ex for anything that is their present or past experiences.
Co-parenting is quite hard, yet one of the best options. It is practically the only way a child can grow up in the presence of both parents.
It is difficult to forget the past and get on with the decision of co-parenting. But make sure that if you decide to do something for the betterment of your child, you do it in the healthiest way possible.